On Saturday, I spent over an hour trying to download a birthday picture of our newly 1 year old Owen Isaac. For the life of me I can’t fugure it out.  So, I’ll just tell you all. He’s the cutest 1 year old in the world! He has a big adorable grin with one big dimple on his left cheek and four little chipmunk teeth peeking out from his little lips.  His big blue eyes smile as big as his mouth does. He has straight blonde hair (not sure how it’s blonde with hubby and I both having dark hair) but you can’t see it in the picture because it’s covered with a Chuck E Cheese birthday crown that says ”It’s Party Time!”  

Happy Birthday Owie!!!

Well, it was fun while it lasted.

 This week, will probably be the last week of Gabe’s Lovaas therapy. It’s just more than we can afford.  I think it’s more than anyone who makes less than six digits annually can afford =) But I am much more knowledgable now. It’s helped me understand a little more about my son and how he thinks.  It was worth the expense overall.

The school down the road from us is supposed to be one of the best in the area as far as special ed goes. They do ABA, just like Lovaas does. So, he will be getting basically the same kind of therapy there.  I am anxious because, I always thought of public school as “the devil’s school”. I have presuppositions about public education that I know I need to work through, to see what are legitimate concerns and what are not. We are praying for wisdom.

I took Gabe to the school today and he saw all the other kids playing and having fun and he kept saying “I want to go to school!” So, maybe the transition won’t be too hard for him.  I am expecting to shed a tear or two sending my first baby off into the big cruel world.  Pray for my nerves if you think about it.

blah, blah, blah.

Kimm,  if you need further help, refer to my post on yawning =)

If you need even more help after that, watch some of those Clear Eyes commercials. You know with that very boring looking man who says in a monotone voice, “Clear Eyes, gets the red out.”

HTH!

Dear Readers,

Lately I haven’t been doing too well in my sanctification.  I’ve been assessing the lack of everything good in my character and been despairing. I didn’t see any consistent fruit in my life.  A few  Fruits of the Spirit would come up every now and then, but none of them characterized my life.  I was so focused on how little paitience I had with the children, how little yearning I had for the Word and prayer, how little attention I was giving to my husband, etc, etc…

 I had been listening to the lies of the accuser.  I believed that  I was  doing my children more spiritual harm than good by just being in the same room as them. I believed that since I wasn’t keeping the house as clean as I would like,   I was teaching my kids how to live like pigs.  I didn’t realize that every other mother out there who loves God and loves her kids goes through most of the same struggles I do.

I thought I was becoming more and more sinful.  I was afraid because God promises to sanctify those who trust in him and his promises.  Yet, here I was believing God’s promises and falling farther and farther away from him. I started thinking that maybe God’s promises weren’t for me after all.  Of course this terrified me.  How I longed for God’s promises to be for me! But how could they be if I was not seeing them fulfilled in my life?

I asked for prayer for my sanctification last Lord’s Day evening during worship.  After service, one of our loving elders approached Josh and me and I was able to open up a little more with my thoughts and feelings. One thing he told me that I will never forget (Lord willing), something that my dear hubby had been trying to tell me, yet for some reason it didn’t sink in, was that I was not becoming more and more sinful. I was just seeing my sin in a deeper and deeper sense.  In the midst of my trials I have been given a clearer view into the depths of my heart to see the sin that has ALWAYS been there.

Somehow the realization that I was always THIS sinful is comforting to me! Yes, I am evil and impatient and unkind and disorganized and selfish, etc…BUT I am not getting worse! How merciful God is to let me see my sin.  Even seeing my sin in a deeper sense is part of my sanctification.

The trials in my life, however superficial or deep, ARE sanctifying me. Whether I realize it or not. The process isn’t pretty, or easy.  And I pray that as God is sanctifying me through the trials he has hand-tailored for me, he will also give those around me the patience and grace to put up with me.

 Pray for me and my family if you think about it.  I don’t like my trials. I don’t like my sin. I don’t like myself most of the time. This road is temporary and eventually I’ll reach glory.  I believe that’s one thing that is promised to me.  But the road is also long and hard.  I thank the Lord for his promise to preserve me, because if it were left up to me to persevere on my own I would have fallen away long ago.

Ok, readers, I’m back!

 The reason for my absence involved a 3 week long headache (by far the worst one in my life), achey (is this a word?) skin and muscles, lightheadedness, a fever of 104.8 F, a stiff neck,  a 3 day long hopital stay, a spinal tap, getting blood drawn 10 times, LOTS of nausea, a CT Scan, an MRI, an IV, antibiotics, LOTS on pain meds, and about a week and a half  of COMPLETE bed rest…but you know, I don’t think I’ll go into detail. By the way…it was JUST sinusitis! All that for a sinus infection. I guess it was pretty bad. But it was the spinal tap that caused the headache, and wow, it was a doozie. I still feel a trace of it lingering, but I know I’m only days away from finally being headache free again.

I had actually been pretty excited, because I’d been wanting to shed a few lbs. and had been watching my diet very carefully for about two weeks before i got sick. I lost 2 lbs from eating well. Then I got sick and couldn’t keep ANYTHING down for about a week. after losing 13 lbs in the next two weeks, I was fitting into jeans I thought I’d have to get rid of. Of course now that the nausea is gone and my appetite is back…I’ve already gained back 3 lbs  Time for some more self denial I guess…

God has been so gracious to me these past 3 weeks. My hubby has been a great mommy, cook, and house cleaner. He has a greater appreciation for my job in the home now. And I have a greater respect for him. I knew he’d do a great job holding down the fort until I was back on my feet, but he really surpassed my expectations. He was such a servant. I love you Josh.  The timing was great too because Josh just got out for the summer from his teaching. So, if it had to happen, now was a good time

 So, I had been unable to look at the computor screen until very recently. The light of the screen just did NOT go well with my headache. I think I have finally caught up on e-mails and friends’ blogs (man, you guys write a lot!), don’t ask me how long it took to catch up!

I’m finally back.  It feels good to be up and on my feet again.

     Whate’er my God ordains is right: his holy will abideth; I will be still whate’er he doth, and follow where he guideth. He is my God; though dark my road, he holds me that I shall not fall: wherefore to him I leave it all.

     Whate’er my God ordains is right: he never will deceive me; he leads me by the proper path; I know he will not leave me. I take, content, what he hath sent; his hand can turn my griefs away, and patiently I wait his day.

     Whate’er my God ordains is right: though now this cup, in drinking, may bitter seem to my faint heart, I take it, all unshrinking. My God is true; each morn anew sweet comfort yet shall fill my heart, and pain and sorrow shall depart.

      Whate’er my God ordains is right: here shall my stand be taken; though sorrow, need, or death be mine, yet am I not forsaken. My Father’s care is round me there; he holds me that I shall not fall: and so to him I leave it all.

Will everyone who reads my blog please say a prayer for Gabriel?

Thank you.

Just got this forward… 

JOB DESCRIPTION- MOM
If it had been presented this way, no one would have done it!!!!POSITION :
Mother, Mom, Mama, Mommy, Momma, Ma

JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an, often
chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and
organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will
include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some
overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on
rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities. Travel
expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also,
must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero
to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the
backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face
stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously
sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain
calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects . Must
have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages
and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an
embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always
hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete
accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also
include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT &PROMOTION:
Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that
those in your charge can ultimately surpass you

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :
None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually
exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION :
Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon
payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will
help them become financially independent. When you die, you give t hem
whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS :
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement,
no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies
limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if you
play your cards right.