After many, many long months of wandering the North County for a church in which we can follow our conscience concerning our belief in paedobaptism, we are glad to finally be done with our search! On July 27th, Josh, myself, and the kids, will be announced into membership at Oceanside URC. Our kidlets will also be receiving the sign of God’s covenant on that day.  We have enjoyed good fellowship and been welcomed warmly by this congregation.  The pastors and elder all have pastoral hearts and we believe we will be well shepherded there.  And Lord willing, in a few months from now, little Isaiah will also be receiving baptism.

To those of you who have been praying us through this difficult and sometimes painful journey, thank you so much.  I know for many of you, dear friends, this is not the outcome you were hoping for, but thanks for praying for us just the same. We love you dearly and will miss you greatly as we will not have the same amount of contact.  Please know you are all invited over for playdates whenever you have the inclination to come over.  We’re just a phone call away!

On  separate note…We did get the results of Gabe’s EEG.  They weren’t anything surprising.  While he was awake, his brain patterns were a little slower than a child his age would normally be, which accounts for the autism and related developmental delays.  While asleep the brain patterns on the left side of his brain showed abnormal activity which are consistent with a child at risk for seizures, which accounts for the epilepsy.   So, this is good, because it means nothing is getting worse =) So, we’re keeping the same anticonvulsant regimen and he’s getting all the early intervention therapy he needs.

I do want to publicly give thanks to the Lord that he has provided a means of encouragement and counsel for me through this.  Dr. Laura Hendricksen, who is a nouthetic counselor with IBCD (Institute of Biblical Counseling and Discipleship) has had a slot open up in her schdule to see me and Gabriel every other week.  She is a trained psychiatrist who used to have her own practice, but left her practice to help her own severely autistic son through his therapy.  I am very blessed to have someone counsel me who is not only a godly and biblically sound counselor, and medically trained to understand Gabe and his needs, but is also a mother who has gone through what I’m going through to a more extreme extent.

Gabe is such a blessing to our family and is such a sweet and loving child, and while I wouldn’t want him any other way, I’m glad there is help out there for him to have a happy and easier life.

A few days ago, Josh was wrestling with the kids. He was lying on the couch and Gabe, Aaron and Emmie were all piled up on top of him. It was so fun to watch! Then, Gabe excitedly exclaims, “Daddy! There’s not enough kids on you!”

So I asked Gabe, ” Should Mommy have more babies so more kids can wrestle daddy?”

He grins and says matter-of-factly, “Yes.”

A Different Kind of Drug Problem

This is great!

Today I was drinking a can of Ginger Ale. Aaron (3 1/2) wanted some but I told him no.  He asked, “Is your soda going to make me bounce on the walls?”

I vaguely remember telling him some time ago when he wanted a drink of my Coke, that he couldn’t because I didn’t want him bouncing off the walls (hyper). It’s funny how little ones take everything you say seriously, and literally.  

This week I am packing up our family because we are leaving Friday to go to Albuquerque to visit hubby’s parents. A friend suggested that I blog on how to travel with little ones in tow.  I am happy to do this, however keep in mind that I *only* have four littles =) I know many who read my blog have quite a bit more than me =) So, these are the ideas I have come up with so far, some are tried and true, others I am trying for the first time this trip. If anyone has anything to add, please comment.  I’m sure we all need all the ideas we can get this holiday season.

In no particular order…

-Make a detailed packing list for each member of the family. As detailed as you can possibly get it.  Mention everything this person could ever possibly need on a trip (even if you don’t end up using things you packed, it’s better to be safe than sorry)

-Count the number of days you will be gone, including driving days. Then think of how many diapers each child usually uses each day. Our example, Owen: 5, Emmie: 3-4, Aaron (who pees in the toilet more often now!): 2-3. Then add three diapers per child per day (in case anyone gets diahrrea).  So, on this trip we will potentially need 259 diapers!

-Or =) you can do what we have sometimes done to save precious van space.  Bring diapers only for the drive up, around 20 diapers for our family. Then buy a big box once you get to your destination. With us being gone a week and a half, we usually use up enough of the big box that we don’t have to bring a hug box of diapers back with us.

-Make sure everyone has a lap blanket and small pillow.  This ensures that if the littles want to take naps, they are able to get comfy enough to do so.  There’s NOTHING worse on a long trip than a child who is tired enough to sleep, but can’t get comfy.  If you have various colors available, tell the kids which color is theirs, so they don’t end up fighting over colors. They are responisble for their own pillow and blanket.

-Make sure everyone has books, and quiet toys. Loud toys are almost as nerve-racking as loud kids on a long trip.

-If possible, try to have the children play with multiples of the same toy. If everyone is driving little cars around they are less likely to fight over the neater toy that brother has.

-SNACK! An eating child is a happy child!

-This one can be VERY difficult to do. But when the kids need discipline,  actually pull the car over and DO IT.  If you will not pull over, the kids know your authority holds no power over them in the car. They will act up in every way they can think of.  For our family, public infractions are always more serious. Our children should know that they are examples to the watching world.

-AT LEAST one week prior to the trip (if you haven’t been as consistent as you would like),  have a week long obedience boot camp. Work on first time obedience and God-honoring attitudes.  BTW, you will most assuredly need another boot camp when you get home =)

-Also, at least a week prior to the trip, teach any child older than 18 months what “no talking” means.  Have them sit still in front of you, and say, “no talking.” Then at every sound give them a training swat (also cover their mouth, for the little ones, so they associate the swat with what they did with their mouth), and repeat, “no talking.”  This is such a useful thing for kids to know. If they start arguing, complaining, etc, just tell them no talking.  Whenever they are not using their mouths in a God-honoring way, give them a No Talking time.  This is also great to know to get the kids to sit quietly in church. 

-Make sure you start with a clean van/car/whatever. 

-Organize everything that goes into the vehicle. This trip we are using some cloth cube-shaped box things.  Toys and books in one (put next to the oldest child, he can pass out toys at command), snacks *only finger foods*  in another (put next to the adult riding shotgun, adults snack more than kids anyway=), trash in another (empty at EVERY stop), grown up toys in another (books, crossword puzzles, CDs, etc.) At each stop, do a 5 minute clean up. Put away anything that is not being used.

-My theory is that kids whine the most when they are allowed to get too bored.  Play games with the kids, interact with them. Play I Spy. Sing with them.  Talk with them. Read books to them holding the book up so they can see the pictures. Keep their attention focused on something, whether it’s a snack, a game, a song, a book, a toy, or a nap. 

-Drive in the dark as much as you can.  If either you or hubby is a good night driver, take advantage of the kids bedtime, when they are sleepiest.  Leave for your trip about 1-2 hours before their normal bedtime. Drive through the night if you can.

-Plan to stop often. Take 5-10 minutes every 3 hours or so, just to let the kiddos stretch and run around.

Ok, I’m all out of ideas.  But really, I’d love to hear more before we leave on Friday!  

I know that among the readers of my blog, there are several of you who love children and desire to raise many of them.  I hope what I am about to share encourages you, and uplifts your hearts.

I am not usually this upfront about my feelings, I do tend to wear a mask when I am feeling down or depressed.  I pray that the Lord will give me the transparency  needed to have true fellowship with my family in Christ.

I had been very depressed since Thanksgiving evening. I was depressed until this morning.  So, for those of you at church who asked how I was doing yesterday, I am sorry for not being more honest in my answers.

On Thanksgiving evening we had a family dinner at a relative’s house, a handful of family members were present.  One in particular who loves me very much, yet disagrees that we are being responsible in having many kids, makes sure to tell me every time I see her, in one way or another, that she would like us not to have anymore.  I only see this loved one 1-2 times a year.  And she always says something to try to discourage me from conceiving again.

I know myself and my desires. I know that God has woven into the very fabric of my being, the desire to have many children. I know God has given me the ability to love in a capacity that would make me feel less than complete if I gave up the chance to bear the blessings God has brought my way.  I know that aside from being a wife to my sweetheart, my greatest earthly joy comes from being a mother.  I know that my very soul cries out to carry a child within me.  Some women want to be doctors or ballerinas. I want to be a wife and a mommy. I have no other earthly aspirations. I want to raise many mighty warriors for the kingdom of God.  

So, when said person tells me that I should have no more kids, I feel like she is rejecting the very core of who I am. I feel like since I have rejected her advice year after year, she is gravely disappointed in me and all I have become. I love this person so very much, and had been feeling very hurt by her comments. I had it in my mind to conceive just to spite her, which of course is an evil thought, and very unfair for the child who would come of it, as well as my husband.  Then I had almost decided that if she didn’t want me to have more children, I just wouldn’t tell her whenever I did have more.  This of course would have hurt her deeply, because she does love our current children very much and would want to know if there were more family members to love.

As you can probably tell, I had been having a rather fleshly weekend.  I’d cried a lot, because I knew I was in the flesh, yet I was feeling so hurt, that I felt helpless to change my attitude.  

This loved one who always discourages me does so because she loves me.  She did not have a good Christian home, or marriage. She does not understand that my worldview is so different from hers.  She thinks her advise is wise, and because she loves me, she gives it every time I see her.

I spoke to my Dad about it this morning.  He assured me that this relative only comments because she loves me very much.  I think he gave me some of the best advice ever. This is the part I want to share with you other mommies.

“If you are strong enough to raise many children for thirty plus years, then little comments like those from ——–, should be like little drops in a bucket in comparison. You are strong enough to not let the comments get to you.”

I was feeling so down from hurtful comments, that I had forgotten that God has given me strength to raise my family. And it takes much more strength to raise many kids than to not be hurt by yearly handfuls of comments from someone I rarely see.

My Dad also told me that if someone is easily offended and overly sensitive, then in a job like raising a large family, they will feel overworked, depressed, and sometimes close to insanity, because someone who is easily offended, cannot possibly do such a huge job as raising a large family.

I have in the past felt very overworked, very depressed and yes, even very insane. I guess this means I need to develop thicker skin.

So, I guess I just wanted to share with you all what has been such an encouragement to me today and hopefully many years to come. If God has placed within your heart the desire to have a large family, then he has given you the strength needed to accomplish it.  You may not always feel strong,  in fact, I, myself, rarely feel strong. But we have divine strength, and we really don’t need to sweat the little stuff.  God is here, he is our God, he is our strength.

Have a blessed week raising your little signs of God’s favor.

Aaron (3yo in 6 days!) has been showing a greater interest in praying this past week. He’s been asking to say the blessing before we eat.  Here is his first completely self-formulated prayer…

“Thank you for this food. Thank you for Madison (his friend), and Emmie and Mommy, and Gabe. Thank you for this food. Please help everybody not to be stuck. And thank you, in Jesus name, Amen.”

I especially liked his next prayer…

“Thank you for this food. Please help us to obey without complaining. Please help us to be like Jesus. *then he mumbled for about a minute and I couldn’t hear what he was saying*In Jesus name, Amen.”

I get discouraged sometimes at how my kids treat each other. But then don’t we as parents fail in this area too? Josh and I have been noticing with our boys, that there have been moments recently when they have been making obviously conscious attempts to treat each other kindly. Aaron wants to pray. Gabe asked forgivness for something of his own volition last night.  I have been wondering for quite sometime now whether God will ever bless the efforts Josh and I are putting forth to raise godly children. I am encouraged to know that He is. It is a slow process. But then, so is my own sanctification. It took me 17 1/2 years to have a conciousness of my sin and have godly repentance.  And I was raised in a very stable God-honoring Christian home.  I don’t know why I expect every administration of discipline to single-handedly regenerate my kids.  I need to trust the Holy Spirit to work in my kids’ hearts when it is time. And patiently do my mommy job in the mean time.

Just got this forward… 

JOB DESCRIPTION- MOM
If it had been presented this way, no one would have done it!!!!POSITION :
Mother, Mom, Mama, Mommy, Momma, Ma

JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an, often
chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and
organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will
include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some
overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on
rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities. Travel
expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also,
must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero
to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the
backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face
stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously
sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain
calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects . Must
have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages
and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an
embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always
hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete
accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also
include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT &PROMOTION:
Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that
those in your charge can ultimately surpass you

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :
None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually
exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION :
Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon
payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will
help them become financially independent. When you die, you give t hem
whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS :
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement,
no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies
limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if you
play your cards right.

This is the best website on parenting I have found so far. It is such a great resource to save on your favorites!

www.raisinggodlytomatoes.com

Here is an excellent post about what patience really involves when it comes to raising kids…

http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/sweetsavages/320193/

I have growing to do…