After many, many long months of wandering the North County for a church in which we can follow our conscience concerning our belief in paedobaptism, we are glad to finally be done with our search! On July 27th, Josh, myself, and the kids, will be announced into membership at Oceanside URC. Our kidlets will also be receiving the sign of God’s covenant on that day.  We have enjoyed good fellowship and been welcomed warmly by this congregation.  The pastors and elder all have pastoral hearts and we believe we will be well shepherded there.  And Lord willing, in a few months from now, little Isaiah will also be receiving baptism.

To those of you who have been praying us through this difficult and sometimes painful journey, thank you so much.  I know for many of you, dear friends, this is not the outcome you were hoping for, but thanks for praying for us just the same. We love you dearly and will miss you greatly as we will not have the same amount of contact.  Please know you are all invited over for playdates whenever you have the inclination to come over.  We’re just a phone call away!

On  separate note…We did get the results of Gabe’s EEG.  They weren’t anything surprising.  While he was awake, his brain patterns were a little slower than a child his age would normally be, which accounts for the autism and related developmental delays.  While asleep the brain patterns on the left side of his brain showed abnormal activity which are consistent with a child at risk for seizures, which accounts for the epilepsy.   So, this is good, because it means nothing is getting worse =) So, we’re keeping the same anticonvulsant regimen and he’s getting all the early intervention therapy he needs.

I do want to publicly give thanks to the Lord that he has provided a means of encouragement and counsel for me through this.  Dr. Laura Hendricksen, who is a nouthetic counselor with IBCD (Institute of Biblical Counseling and Discipleship) has had a slot open up in her schdule to see me and Gabriel every other week.  She is a trained psychiatrist who used to have her own practice, but left her practice to help her own severely autistic son through his therapy.  I am very blessed to have someone counsel me who is not only a godly and biblically sound counselor, and medically trained to understand Gabe and his needs, but is also a mother who has gone through what I’m going through to a more extreme extent.

Gabe is such a blessing to our family and is such a sweet and loving child, and while I wouldn’t want him any other way, I’m glad there is help out there for him to have a happy and easier life.

Monday was, of course, Cinco De Mayo. Our family celebrates this with Mexican food (yummy!) and pinatas (sorry, I don’t know how to put the tilde on) filled with candy. We also play Mexican music and just have a great time.

This year we had a friend and his daughter over to celebrate with us. After they left, we all played outside in the backyard while daddy enjoyed a cigar. Emmie (2yrs) came to him with a yellow piece of candy and asked him to open it, so he did. Then he asked her, “Does it taste like lemon?” She said, “Yes.” A few minutes later Emmie came back to Josh and pointed at his cigar and asked, “Does it taste like lemon?”  

With the last few posts about our journey into paedobaptism, I believe there has been some misunderstanding.  It was not our intention to announce that we were dissolving our membership at our current church.  We simply believed that our closer friends, who are generally the ones who read our blogs, deserved an explanation as to why they may not see us at church regularly.  We are in the process of *looking* for a church which agrees with our heart on this issue.  We are still members at our beloved current church until further notice.  Also, if  or when we do dissolve our membership, we will announce it in a way that is more personal.  Our hearts are breaking over this. But we don’t know what else to do.  We don’t know how else to handle it.  We believe we may have made some people angry/frustrated/disappointed in us.  Again, we are truly heartbroken about this. Neither Josh nor I slept much last night because we were too grieved at the prospect that we have let someone in particular down who we love and respect so much. We understand that not everyone will understand, or support us, let alone agree with us.  It’s possible that we may not have handled this situation in the best way possible, but we did think it through and we tried the best we knew how.  We’re sorry if we’ve caused any unnecessary pain, but please know that we’re hurting too.

Dear Friends,

Out of our love for you, Josh and I want to make you aware of our most recent family developments.  Again, know that we love you all, this does NOT affect our fellowship with anyone who may disagree with us.  We pray there will be understanding and charity.  This was NOT an easy decision.  Many tears and sleepless nights were involved.  I refer you once again to my hubby’s blog for details.

Dear Friends,

As a family we are going through some theological struggles right now, please pray for us. Pray that the Spirit guides us into truth.  I have shed many tears over this and want all our friends to know that this is NOT something we take lightly. To find out more, I will refer you to my hubby’s blog.

Tonight after dinner, Gabe, Aaron, Emmie and I were playing Simon Says.  It was Aaron’s (3 1/2) turn to be Simon.  His first command, “Simon says poke your eye up in the air.” Huh? I tell him, “Ok, what else does Simon say?” He continues, “Simon says put your nose in your mouth and bite your teeth off.” Ok.

 After an interesting game of Simon Says, we did our devotion. We read Psalm 150. We learned about all the different places and ways we can praise God.  After reading we sang some praises to God. The kids chose the songs. Gabe (4 1/2) said, “Let’s sing Be Thou my Vision in French.” Sorry Gabe, I’m still working on Spanish.

We just found out today that another little blessing is growing deep within the depths of my belly.  Praise the Lord for His abundant kindness to our family. We feel rich and unworthy.  Pray for me if you think about it,  while God will give me the strength to make it through another pregnancy,  it’s not my very favorite stage of life.  But I just love the cute little bundles that come from it!

Aaron (3yrs) just told me the baby’s name should be “Zana”.  Hmm…Sorry kiddo, we’ve already got names chosen.  Our names are Sofia Cristiana and Isaiah Calvin. So soon (well in 5 months) we’ll see if Emmie will have a mini me to play with, or if she will be sandwiched in between two boys on either side of her.

We’re back from Josh’s parents’ house.  We had a great time. The kids loved playing with Granny, Grandpa and Uncle Nathan.  They especially loved eating “Candy Cames” and throwing snow at Daddy.  We had a mostly peaceful drive there and back, although there were some moments of craziness. And I think that out of all the tips to traveling with littles, the one that worked the best was to let the kids snack as much as possible =)

 One of my favorite moments was when we drove past a bunch of cows and Emmie excitedly stated, “OOOHH!!! Elphans (elephants)! Wow!”

This week I am packing up our family because we are leaving Friday to go to Albuquerque to visit hubby’s parents. A friend suggested that I blog on how to travel with little ones in tow.  I am happy to do this, however keep in mind that I *only* have four littles =) I know many who read my blog have quite a bit more than me =) So, these are the ideas I have come up with so far, some are tried and true, others I am trying for the first time this trip. If anyone has anything to add, please comment.  I’m sure we all need all the ideas we can get this holiday season.

In no particular order…

-Make a detailed packing list for each member of the family. As detailed as you can possibly get it.  Mention everything this person could ever possibly need on a trip (even if you don’t end up using things you packed, it’s better to be safe than sorry)

-Count the number of days you will be gone, including driving days. Then think of how many diapers each child usually uses each day. Our example, Owen: 5, Emmie: 3-4, Aaron (who pees in the toilet more often now!): 2-3. Then add three diapers per child per day (in case anyone gets diahrrea).  So, on this trip we will potentially need 259 diapers!

-Or =) you can do what we have sometimes done to save precious van space.  Bring diapers only for the drive up, around 20 diapers for our family. Then buy a big box once you get to your destination. With us being gone a week and a half, we usually use up enough of the big box that we don’t have to bring a hug box of diapers back with us.

-Make sure everyone has a lap blanket and small pillow.  This ensures that if the littles want to take naps, they are able to get comfy enough to do so.  There’s NOTHING worse on a long trip than a child who is tired enough to sleep, but can’t get comfy.  If you have various colors available, tell the kids which color is theirs, so they don’t end up fighting over colors. They are responisble for their own pillow and blanket.

-Make sure everyone has books, and quiet toys. Loud toys are almost as nerve-racking as loud kids on a long trip.

-If possible, try to have the children play with multiples of the same toy. If everyone is driving little cars around they are less likely to fight over the neater toy that brother has.

-SNACK! An eating child is a happy child!

-This one can be VERY difficult to do. But when the kids need discipline,  actually pull the car over and DO IT.  If you will not pull over, the kids know your authority holds no power over them in the car. They will act up in every way they can think of.  For our family, public infractions are always more serious. Our children should know that they are examples to the watching world.

-AT LEAST one week prior to the trip (if you haven’t been as consistent as you would like),  have a week long obedience boot camp. Work on first time obedience and God-honoring attitudes.  BTW, you will most assuredly need another boot camp when you get home =)

-Also, at least a week prior to the trip, teach any child older than 18 months what “no talking” means.  Have them sit still in front of you, and say, “no talking.” Then at every sound give them a training swat (also cover their mouth, for the little ones, so they associate the swat with what they did with their mouth), and repeat, “no talking.”  This is such a useful thing for kids to know. If they start arguing, complaining, etc, just tell them no talking.  Whenever they are not using their mouths in a God-honoring way, give them a No Talking time.  This is also great to know to get the kids to sit quietly in church. 

-Make sure you start with a clean van/car/whatever. 

-Organize everything that goes into the vehicle. This trip we are using some cloth cube-shaped box things.  Toys and books in one (put next to the oldest child, he can pass out toys at command), snacks *only finger foods*  in another (put next to the adult riding shotgun, adults snack more than kids anyway=), trash in another (empty at EVERY stop), grown up toys in another (books, crossword puzzles, CDs, etc.) At each stop, do a 5 minute clean up. Put away anything that is not being used.

-My theory is that kids whine the most when they are allowed to get too bored.  Play games with the kids, interact with them. Play I Spy. Sing with them.  Talk with them. Read books to them holding the book up so they can see the pictures. Keep their attention focused on something, whether it’s a snack, a game, a song, a book, a toy, or a nap. 

-Drive in the dark as much as you can.  If either you or hubby is a good night driver, take advantage of the kids bedtime, when they are sleepiest.  Leave for your trip about 1-2 hours before their normal bedtime. Drive through the night if you can.

-Plan to stop often. Take 5-10 minutes every 3 hours or so, just to let the kiddos stretch and run around.

Ok, I’m all out of ideas.  But really, I’d love to hear more before we leave on Friday!  

I know that among the readers of my blog, there are several of you who love children and desire to raise many of them.  I hope what I am about to share encourages you, and uplifts your hearts.

I am not usually this upfront about my feelings, I do tend to wear a mask when I am feeling down or depressed.  I pray that the Lord will give me the transparency  needed to have true fellowship with my family in Christ.

I had been very depressed since Thanksgiving evening. I was depressed until this morning.  So, for those of you at church who asked how I was doing yesterday, I am sorry for not being more honest in my answers.

On Thanksgiving evening we had a family dinner at a relative’s house, a handful of family members were present.  One in particular who loves me very much, yet disagrees that we are being responsible in having many kids, makes sure to tell me every time I see her, in one way or another, that she would like us not to have anymore.  I only see this loved one 1-2 times a year.  And she always says something to try to discourage me from conceiving again.

I know myself and my desires. I know that God has woven into the very fabric of my being, the desire to have many children. I know God has given me the ability to love in a capacity that would make me feel less than complete if I gave up the chance to bear the blessings God has brought my way.  I know that aside from being a wife to my sweetheart, my greatest earthly joy comes from being a mother.  I know that my very soul cries out to carry a child within me.  Some women want to be doctors or ballerinas. I want to be a wife and a mommy. I have no other earthly aspirations. I want to raise many mighty warriors for the kingdom of God.  

So, when said person tells me that I should have no more kids, I feel like she is rejecting the very core of who I am. I feel like since I have rejected her advice year after year, she is gravely disappointed in me and all I have become. I love this person so very much, and had been feeling very hurt by her comments. I had it in my mind to conceive just to spite her, which of course is an evil thought, and very unfair for the child who would come of it, as well as my husband.  Then I had almost decided that if she didn’t want me to have more children, I just wouldn’t tell her whenever I did have more.  This of course would have hurt her deeply, because she does love our current children very much and would want to know if there were more family members to love.

As you can probably tell, I had been having a rather fleshly weekend.  I’d cried a lot, because I knew I was in the flesh, yet I was feeling so hurt, that I felt helpless to change my attitude.  

This loved one who always discourages me does so because she loves me.  She did not have a good Christian home, or marriage. She does not understand that my worldview is so different from hers.  She thinks her advise is wise, and because she loves me, she gives it every time I see her.

I spoke to my Dad about it this morning.  He assured me that this relative only comments because she loves me very much.  I think he gave me some of the best advice ever. This is the part I want to share with you other mommies.

“If you are strong enough to raise many children for thirty plus years, then little comments like those from ——–, should be like little drops in a bucket in comparison. You are strong enough to not let the comments get to you.”

I was feeling so down from hurtful comments, that I had forgotten that God has given me strength to raise my family. And it takes much more strength to raise many kids than to not be hurt by yearly handfuls of comments from someone I rarely see.

My Dad also told me that if someone is easily offended and overly sensitive, then in a job like raising a large family, they will feel overworked, depressed, and sometimes close to insanity, because someone who is easily offended, cannot possibly do such a huge job as raising a large family.

I have in the past felt very overworked, very depressed and yes, even very insane. I guess this means I need to develop thicker skin.

So, I guess I just wanted to share with you all what has been such an encouragement to me today and hopefully many years to come. If God has placed within your heart the desire to have a large family, then he has given you the strength needed to accomplish it.  You may not always feel strong,  in fact, I, myself, rarely feel strong. But we have divine strength, and we really don’t need to sweat the little stuff.  God is here, he is our God, he is our strength.

Have a blessed week raising your little signs of God’s favor.